How Can I Learn to Control My Temper?

Anger is a very pervasive problem in our society and the levels of anger displayed by some individuals seem to be spiraling out of control. As a society, we pay the price for uncontrolled anger in the form of broken families, medical expenses and law enforcement bills.

The first step is to take responsibility for your angry behavior rather than blaming it on others, and insisting that "they made" you angry. Your anger is a sign that something needs to be changed in your life – maybe you are sad or deeply hurting inside. Learning to control your temper involves being able to develop awareness and communicate your angry feelings, in an effort to locate and heal the source(s) of your anger.

To reduce your anger levels, you may need a combination of different methods such as:

  1. Physical forms of release: exercises such as walking, running, swimming.
  2. Intensive inner-child work: the inner child is the part of you that is spontaneous and playful. Hurtful childhood experiences or childhood trauma may have harmed your inner child and you may be carrying this pain around. This may lead to angry behavior or you may be using anger to block the pain.
  3. Mindfulness living: living with awareness, non-judgementally observing your thoughts and feelings. Mindful breathing involves placing the attention on the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils. This has a powerful effect on both the mind and body.

The above methods could help to transform anger into positive behavior. Once you begin to release old pent-up angry feelings, you will find that managing your anger will become easier. The frequency and duration of anger episodes will diminish and you will not react from an angry state of mind. Perhaps one of the best gifts you can give yourself and others is becoming a calm person, as far as possible.